Sunday, May 18, 2008

My Nerves and My Appetite....

It seems that there is a "count down" mentality that comes with making a date with yourself to begin something. Sort of a "12 hours until I can't eat french fries, so I better eat as many as possible now" kind of thing. I'm trying to remind myself that I will NOT cut out anything completely - it will be moderation, but there's still a fear.

Cutting off food in anyway is scary for a fat girl. Food has been a good friend for a long time and confronting a close and caring friend about the harmful things they're doing to you is a frightening proposition. Not only that, but then there's the withdrawal when you break off a friendship. When you have good news, who will you call? When you have a bad day, who will cheer you up? When you are lonely, who will keep you company? That's what it's like for me and food. It's a close friend. How do you end or limit a friendship?

Then there's the working out. Oh how I destest the thought. The sweating, the sore muscles...all of it really sucks. I know that in time it will get better. I know that with each workout it will get easier, but today that doesn't make it easier to face tomorrow. Pray for me. This is going to more ways than one!

No comments: